Brace yourselves, kittens … Mean Betty has some SHOCKING news! Are you sitting down?

Donatella Versace, the woman whose very name is associated with all things pure and simple, revealed recently that she does “not believe in totally natural for women.”

!!

Not believe in totally natural? Really?!

Mean Betty, for one, is astonished. Mean Betty always thought Donatella had some sort of genetic disorder that was causing her to slowly morph into a smooth, plastic, orange mountain lioness, but, apparently she told LOVE magazine:  “I don't even know what my natural [hair] color is. Natural? What is natural? What is that? I do not believe in totally natural for women. For me, natural has something to do with vegetables.”

Fascinating! Well, Mean Betty has a pretty good idea of what Donatella’s “natural” hair color is these days, if she really wants to know. It rhymes nicely with “HAY.”

With Donatella’s outspoken embrace of all that is supremely unnatural, Mean Betty finds it confusing that Lindsay Lohan is denying having her lips done, when it is so obviously her life’s goal to turn right into the next generation of Donatella.