Mean Betty

Mean Betty's Top 5 Worst Celebrity Moms

A special Mother's Day salute

-Mean Betty

Well, my dears, you've surely already seen BettyConfidential's Yummy Mommies slideshow ... wasn't that just the sweeeetest thing? Now, Mean Betty thought it would be fun to take a looksie at the other side of the coin ... those celebrity mothers that strike horror into the heart, and make us all grateful for our own mothers, however wacked-out they may be. Happy Mother's Day!

Mean Betty is Eternally Grateful NOT to Be to the Child of:

Denise Richards, Publicity Whore

Mean Betty isn't giving Charlie Sheen any credit here - it takes two to tango and the media display this pair made over their nasty 2007 divorce and custody battle truly was an awesome, popcorn-worthy spectacle. However, Denise takes the Mommy Dearest routine to the limit with her insistence on dragging her daughters into the "reality" limelight. Mean Betty is as addicted to celebrity train wrecks as much as the next girl, but this is one show Mean Betty has refused to watch. However, a brief visit to the Web site makes Mean Betty wonder ... has Mean Betty been missing out? Might it be amusing to watch as Denise Richards' nephews discover the issue of Playboy featuring their notorious aunt? Hmmmm.

Regardless, as all mothers know, at the very, very least, it is paramount to NOT embarrass your poor children in public. Ladies and gentlemen ... Exhibit A:

Dina Lohan, "Momager" from Hell

Publicity-seeking, George Clooney-crushing, vicarious-living "Momager" Dina Lohan truly gives new credence to the negative connotations of "stage mother." Don't you agree? Everyone knows the Hollywood/Disney machine is nothing but a glamorous sort of puppy mill for trashy, washed-up fallen pop princesses - a girl needs a stable, secure, SANE mother to help her navigate through those perilous waters. Unfortunately for Lindsay Lohan, that is.

Britney "My Whole Life Is One Big Circus" Spears

Ok, yes, yes, Mean Betty knows ... it's not really nice to kick a girl when she's down-up-down-up-down-up ... wait - is she up now or down? Mean Betty has lost track. Is anybody else dizzy? Whatever rung of the ladder Brit-Brit is currently clinging to by her acrylic nails, the fact of the matter is - she may be wearing her (big-girl) panties these days, but that's not saying much when it comes to motherhood.

Michelle Obama

Kidding! Haha. Don't get your knickers in a twist, pets.

"Real" Housewife Alex McCord

Oh, my dears, Mean Betty has to tell you about the funniest thing. Recently Mean Betty received a press release extolling Alex McCord's book on ... wait for it ... PARENTING! Isn't that too rich? It's not that Mean Betty faults her for having out-of-control children ... oh, wait, yes it is. But really, it's that she has the audacity to write a book giving other parents advice when her children clearly belong in a zoo. And letting her husband, Simon, walk around dressing as he does (did you, per chance, have the pleasure of seeing the sparkly red pleather leggings he sported this week?) is most definitely going to do some permanent damage to their sons. Finally, Mean Betty is not so sure that the plethora of her nude photos showing up everywhere is going to do them a whole lot of good either.

And, finally, of course ... it's too easy ... but it must be said ...

Octomom, Poster Mother of Doom

One doesn't like to be obvious, but ... really. Nadya Suleman is a shining example - no, make that warning - of all that can go wrong when the accessible, incredible medical technology we have today collides with our celebrity-obsessed "reality" culture. Or ... to put it another way ... some people should be barred from the fertility specialist's office. With her stripper past, her tête à têtes with Mr. Smarmy Dr. Phil, her brushes with child-protective services, her feud with Gloria Allred, her straight-to-video white-trash arguments with Octo-granny, her NEW TATTOO ... honestly, is there some kind of unique Mother of the Year award we can bestow upon her?

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