I Knew He was Mr. Wrong and I Married Him Anyway
Smart women walk down the aisle with Mr. Wrong every single day. Make sure you’re not one of them.
-Jennifer Gauvain, MSW, LCSW
Why do smart women settle for Mr. Wrong? Let’s take a look at one of my clients. Nina is a beautiful brunette with a magnetic personality. She has a large circle of friends and a fabulous social life. Why did this dynamic twenty-something give it all up to marry a compulsive liar?
“I was twenty-eight years old and all of my friends were getting married. We had dated for three years and I didn’t want to waste all the time invested in the relationship. I also ignored the fact that he lied about everything. He lied about his college degree (he never graduated.) His resume was full of lies (he exaggerated and flat-out made things up.) He also lied to the police and said his car was stolen. (He arranged the theft himself for the insurance money.)”
Why didn’t she pay attention? “I convinced myself that it would all work out because he was from a nice family and we had similar backgrounds. I also believed that marriage was the commitment he needed to grow up and be a better person.”
As you might guess, he didn’t change. “We went to his company’s Christmas party six months after our wedding. One of the guys he worked with pulled me aside and said, ‘You seem like a nice lady, but I think you should know that he’s sleeping with his secretary.'” Nina was humiliated. “Why was I surprised by this? He showed me exactly who he was all along. I ignored the red flags of dishonesty and infidelity because I was so determined to get married.” Nina is not alone. Women walk down the aisle with Mr. Wrong every single day.