Recently, we toured horrifying destinations on the Bad Date Express. All those terrible tales of first-date car accidents and ice skating calamities were enough to frighten us from dating for a very long time.

They also underscore our bizarre determination to stick our dates out to the bitter end, even when they’ve turned rotten. Perhaps we’re too polite, perhaps we’re too shy, perhaps we’ve failed to locate the emergency exits in our neighborhood Red Lobster.

But wouldn’t we be better off cutting our losses the moment we begin to fantasize about shrimp scampi instead of the guy across from us? Well, we at BettyConfidential are giving you permission to stop being polite and to start calling bad dates quits. You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em and know when to run home and post the whole thing on your blog!

If you need help withdrawing from an awful date, here are some surefire exit strategies. (Sure, the most tactful approach is to politely explain you’re not feeling a connection with him. But where’s the evil fun in that?)

Top 10 Ways to End a Bad First Date

1. Have a friend call your phone and pretend to be your parole officer. Tell your date you’ve got to be home within 10 minutes or your ankle bracelet monitor will send you “back to the slammer.”

2. Tell him you’re late for an appointment with your fertility doctor, then cross your fingers and whisper: “Octuplets!”

3. Start sneezing and say you’re having an allergy attack. When he asks what you’re allergic to, choose any food item on his plate or fabric on his person.