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He Called Me Fat!

Carrie gets pitched a dating foul ball.

-Carrie Seim

 

He Called Me Fat!

Dating Foul Ball …

He called me fat!

Last week I spent many, many, many hours watching baseball with a certain boy. Even though my comprehension of ESPN programming is on par with my comprehension of Telemundo programming, I loved every second.

This is always the way at the beginning of a relationship, isn’t it? Doing anything together seems romantic. “Hey Carrie, want to clean gutters and work on tax returns? Just the two of us?” Swoon!

To be fair, the gentleman in question has taken me to world-class dinners and black-tie events, so his invitation to come over for an evening of bottled beer and baseball in our sweatpants was a refreshing change of pace. Anyone who can polish off a night of opera with some Chicken McNuggets is aces in my book.

Read I’m a Skinny Bitch -- and Proud of It

Everything was going swell. I curled up next to him on the couch. His team scored a run. He rubbed my feet. I poured him beer. He gamely endeavored to enlighten me on the ground rule triple as I stared into the middle distance.

That’s when – for some unearthly reason – he reached over and pinched a bit of fleshy skin on my side. He then spoke those three little words NO MAN SHOULD EVER UTTER: “What is this?”

Foul ball!!!

He looked over to me with a huge grin. It quickly faded to a “holy crap, I just screwed up big time” look of terror.

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rate this article!rated 4.3/5 (10 Votes)
11 comment(s) on this article...
hope_xo
#1. hope_xo on 11/09/2009 - 8:01 am (EST)
Foul ball is right!

* I did enjoy your sports metaphors though *
littlelady
#2. littlelady on 11/09/2009 - 8:43 am (EST)
Eeeeek what was he THINKING?
kitty
#3. kitty on 11/09/2009 - 10:45 am (EST)
A cardinal dating sin!
Fern
#4. Fern on 11/09/2009 - 10:49 am (EST)
I bet he'll never do THAT again!
sugarandspice
#5. sugarandspice on 11/09/2009 - 10:52 am (EST)
lmao...he soo had it coming...how could he say that?
iaretehsarah
#6. iaretehsarah on 11/09/2009 - 12:03 pm (EST)
Am I the only one who thinks this girl overreacted?
pillowchats_com
#7. pillowchats_com on 11/10/2009 - 3:27 pm (EST)
You can argue that he was comfortable with you and that's why he thought he could "joke" with you. But things like "whoa, how long has it been since you went to the gym" or "wow, i remember when you used to look really hot" that those words hurt...a lot.

I mean, we only spend about 1/4 our salary on skincare, haircare, nails, etc. to desperately hold onto our youth, can't these guys take a hint?!

But alas, I don't care. Cause when I want that pint of ice cream, I am going to eat that pint of ice cream! !@#$%://bit.ly/3PimJm
justanothergirl
#8. justanothergirl on 11/14/2009 - 5:36 am (EST)
i totally agree with you.. iaretehsarah..
but then again though i'm a woman.. i don't see the big deal in that.. for me it's just another flirting scene.. when my guy pinches my side and says what's this.. i say "oi.. that's my fat.." *giggles* playfully hit his arms and finds something to notice as well.. like his hair.. *what's this? turning into a baldy are we ei?*
artemis_orange
#9. artemis_orange on 11/15/2009 - 9:45 am (EST)
oh please... Why do women feel that they somehow have the right to turn into a pathetic sobbing heap at the mere suggestion that they might have a little fat?

This is a good example of a total overreaction...
artemis_orange
#10. artemis_orange on 11/15/2009 - 9:49 am (EST)
whoops. Double post. sorry.

 


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