Halloween can be such a hassle, can’t it? Between putting up the decorations, stocking up on candy and – oh yes – finding suitable hooker-gear for our daughters, why, it’s almost as much work as Christmas! Never fear, here in one place you have everything you need to turn your sweet little girl into the stuff of Roman Polanski’s dreams. Makeup sold separately. Trick or treat!


1. The Bratz doll cheerleader – in pleather! Because regular cheerleading outfits aren’t provocative enough. Note the classy pleather choker and fishnet cuff. It’s all in the details! (Only $19.99, anytimecostume.com)


2. If a pleather cheerleader is just so been there done that, this next one will surely do the trick. In fact, it’s my PERSONAL FAVORITE: The Cheerless Leader Costume. "Costume includes dress, fishnet short pants and pom-poms," but clearly you can’t get away with not buying the matching lace-up glovettes! (Costume $24.99; glovettes $7.00, infashionkids.com)


3. Pink Skull Pirate Costume: Thankfully this one comes in x-small for your tiniest hooker. Note the saucy hot pink beribboned bodice and “matching panties.” They really thought of everything! ($49.99, costumeexpress.com)


4. Rubies Girls Bratz Doll Doctor Costume, complete with snazzy sequins and a removable bolero jacket. I hope there are spaghetti straps under there! Now why don’t real doctors dress like this? And you moms of toddlers thought everything would be too big for your little angels … fret not, this one’s size small fits a “3-4 year old!” ($34.99, costumealibi.com)


What a shame the Sexy Ladybug Costume is out of stock! But don’t worry … the same site offers a plethora of vamped up fairytale characters. Disney, after all, is just sooo tame, right?