Do You Have a Fallback Guy?
Is that male “friend” of yours really your “back-up man”? Six signs that say he is.
I felt so bad for Kevin Connolly’s character in He’s Just Not That Into You – he was totally Scarlett Johansson’s fallback guy. When she was single or things weren’t going the way she’d planned with Bradley Cooper, she’d call Kevin up and they’d joke and laugh together on her couch (oh yeah, and occasionally they’d have sex, too). She liked him, just not in that way – but she kept him around, just in case.
Sound familiar? You may be shaking your head no, but consider the following scenarios:
When all of your plans for the night fall through, you find yourself dialing his number because he’ll definitely want to do something.
But, when you’re initially making plans for a night out, he’s rarely the first person you call.
When you’re in a relationship, you completely fall out of touch with him.
But, after a breakup, he’s one of the first people you plan on having drinks with to “catch up.”
You’re completely yourself around him (i.e., your burping, not-showered, sweatpants-wearing self) because you don’t look at him in a romantic way.
But, if you don’t happen to find “the one,” you kinda think you’d be able to live a long and happy life with this guy.
If any of these six situations apply to one of your guy “friends,” then face it, girlfriend – you have a fallback guy. It’s definitely not the worst thing in the world, but it could lead to trouble, according to Catherine Cardinal, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of Men to Run From. It all depends on your specific circumstances.
“A fallback guy is great because he’s someone who allows you to just be yourself,” says Cardinal. “He’s a good person to help you pump up your self-esteem and reclaim your self-confidence.”
We couldn’t agree more. Just like you can with your best girlfriend, you can hang out with your fallback guy without worrying about trying to impress him or having to look your best. You don’t feel that pressure, because you simply don’t consider him to be the one for you. If you did, you’d already be dating. Plain and simple.