Let us begin our intro by saying: we did not mean to drink four glasses of wine tonight before Idol. And let us end it by adding: we're so very glad we did. New ritual? Why not! We've been watching this show -- silly intros, staged sexual tension between the judges and all -- for nine seasons. Don't we deserve a drink or four?

Bless your hearts for enabling us. And with that ... on we go!

Lee Dewyze

Singing "Fireflies," Lee scores the first (noticeably) weirdo stage backdrop of the year -- some kind of celestial red and pink patterned thing that we find a bit distracting. Of course, as good as Lee is, it's easy to be distracted in this fairly blah song -- It kinda transports us back to our freshman year of college, seeing Edwin McCain in a random auditorium during orientation week. Don't get us wrong -- we had fun, and Edwin McCain did OK for himself. But it wasn't necessarily anything to write home about.

Randy calls the choice odd, but all right. Ellen reveals that people are crushing on Lee, which is really all that matters. Kara says that Lee looks confident and made the song better. Simon says it wasn't something to rave about, but Lee's progress has been great.

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Alex Lambert
OMG! Alex Lambert is singing the "dog wants to bury his bone" song from the insurance commercial we're obsessed with. And thus, even with his ever-growing mullet, he's managed to make himself cuter, that sneak! It's a good night for Alex, who can finally perform without a trace of "I might vomit right now" in his eyes. We're still waiting for him to fully hit his stride, but this is a solid singing effort that should put him through to next week.

Randy likes the song choice but wanted more. Ellen thinks he's ripened so fast that he's now a mushy banana. Seriously, you guys -- we just write what they say. Kara tells Alex that he's the only thing standing in his own way. Simon wants Alex to relax onstage, and suggests he imagine Randy in a bikini to do so.

Because obvs, there's nothing more soothing. It's huge in meditation circles.