A Real Guy on Why Men Cheat
You guys loved this article from a real guy about why men cheat!
My dad set down his coffee cup and thought about it for awhile. I had just asked him why he cheated on my mom many years earlier. “You know what? I was just so unhappy at the time. I had to do something.”
That answer, other than scaring me off marriage for years, is still the best answer for why most men do it. It’s what Jesse James or Tiger Woods or even John Edwards would say if you sat down with them over a drink and asked for a short answer as to why they screwed up their lives when they were living the dream with great women.
Men often don’t think in shades of gray (and if they do, they usually lose to Republicans), but as they soldier on in life, they define their success by being married to a sexy, successful woman in a swanky house with some kids and a sweet ride. And then, once they achieve any part of that, they go out and do something to sabotage it. They say to themselves “I have it all but I’m still unhappy … why?”
Of course, there are a multitude of reasons—many of which are specific to the relationship. But men do have a few things in common. Namely, they must feel like they have some degree of power over their lives. They must be in control. And as we all know, marriage is about giving up some of that control. No, we can’t throw empty beer cans against the wall and leave the seat up after we pee. No, we can’t leave Debbie Does Dallas in the DVR or cold pizza on the kitchen floor. We have to give up freedom. And we associate freedom with control. And it scares the living shit out of us. But the married man is willing to give that up because he sees there’s a gain for what’s he’s lost. Love, really—someone who actually gives a damn about him. Seems like a fair tradeoff to me and it’s one reason I got married.
So why would I screw it up? I think it would be the moment I stop giving a damn about myself. It’s the moment I stop believing in who I am and that I have something to give. Without that, all the love in the world can’t save me.