A Real Guy on Why Men Cheat

You guys loved this article from a real guy about why men cheat!
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A Real Guy on Why Men Cheat

You guys loved this article from a real guy about why men cheat!

-Jod Kaftan

Michelle “Bombshell

My dad set down his coffee cup and thought about it for awhile. I had just asked him why he cheated on my mom many years earlier. “You know what? I was just so unhappy at the time. I had to do something.”

That answer, other than scaring me off  marriage for years, is still the best answer for why most men do it. It’s what Jesse James or Tiger Woods or even John Edwards would say if you sat down with them over a drink and asked for a short answer as to why they screwed up their lives when they were living the dream with great women.

Read 6 Signs Your Guy is Cheating

Men often don’t think in shades of gray (and if they do, they usually lose to Republicans), but as they soldier on in life, they define their success by being married to a sexy, successful woman in a swanky house with some kids and a sweet ride. And then, once they achieve any part of that, they go out and do something to sabotage it. They say to themselves “I have it all but I’m still unhappy … why?”

Of course, there are a multitude of reasons—many of which are specific to the relationship. But men do have a few things in common. Namely, they must feel like they have some degree of power over their lives. They must be in control. And as we all know, marriage is about giving up some of that control. No, we can’t throw empty beer cans against the wall and leave the seat up after we pee. No, we can’t leave Debbie Does Dallas in the DVR or cold pizza on the kitchen floor. We have to give up freedom. And we associate freedom with control. And it scares the living shit out of us. But the married man is willing to give that up because he sees there’s a gain for what’s he’s lost. Love, really—someone who actually gives a damn about him. Seems like a fair tradeoff to me and it’s one reason I got married.

So why would I screw it up? I think it would be the moment I stop giving a damn about myself. It’s the moment I stop believing in who I am and that I have something to give. Without that, all the love in the world can’t save me.


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51 thoughts on “A Real Guy on Why Men Cheat

  1. Fern says:

    What a great, honest piece!!

  2. uptowngirl says:

    Thanks for the insight!

  3. petite says:

    Oh no… they were just making excuses. Cheaters are a bunch of weak people who let their genital organs control their lives. Man or women. PERIOD

  4. marriagecoach1 says:

    I hate to disagree with petite and the writer of the article. Men and women cheat because they are not getting needs met.

    Men cheat because they are not getting enough sex and/or respect. Respect is a man’s number one need and the one thing that he gets the least of in this society dripping with misandry (reverse sexism by women against men) Also 60% of married women have their husbands on a starvation diet of sex once a week or less. So he is way short of sex and respect. After all how is the wife showing the husband respect by starving him for sex?

    Women cheat because they are not getting their romantic needs taken care of. Of course it becomes a vicious cycle where neither party is nurturing the other. That is the main reason to be together is to nurture one another and love one another. When people get self centered it breaks down the relationship.

    No woman should be forced to have sex against her will and yet most women have no pangs of conscience for forcing their man to do WITHOUT SEX AGAINST HIS WILL. Like I said, misandry.

  5. Athirson says:

    You’ve all missed the most salient point.

    men are biologically driven to spread their genes as far and wide as possible. Monogamy is unnatural to us. Indeed it is quite rare in the animal kingdom, common to but 7% of mammalian species.

    That said I do think marriagecoach made some good points; you certainly cannot have both monogamy and celibacy. It is one or the other at most. But one is only slightly less dicey than the other.

  6. lpfns says:

    people probably cheat for all kinds of reasons…..

    I’m not convinced men are compelled to cheat for humanity. “Biological drives” are speculation.

  7. Athirson says:

    How do you know lpfns? You’ve never been a man.

  8. DallasShopperGal says:

    Petite’s comment is the most accurate here. I can’t believe there are women on here applauding the man behind the article. I think WHY men cheat and why women cheat are both given. But is it acceptable? No. It’s worse when the man is married and far worse when he has kids. Serial cheaters and/or cheaters who cheat not just once on their significant others are scum.

  9. naturegirl says:

    People cheat because they need their egos stroked. After being married for any length of time the newness starts to wear off. We stop putting our best foot forward and begin to take for things for granted. If an individual has a fragile ego they might find themselves needing to be told how special they really are by someone outside that relationship. Some people are “addicted” to the hormonal rush of that new relationship.

  10. lpfns says:

    @Athirson – Even if I was a man, it would still be speculation.

    It’s not like we’re on the verge of extinction. If anything, it’d be best for mankind if men stopped producing babies with multiple women – especially if they aren’t supporting any of them.

    I don’t buy it and it’s going to take a more convincing argument than “biology” makes them do it. Especially when they aren’t ensuring the survival of their offspring.

  11. u know says:

    first real men dont cheat…men who cheat r curios they have had wat they wanted now wen they see another gurl they r curious but just like the cat curiousity killed the cat…lol,,,most of the time men who cheat dont get wat they need and same with women. but curious is the mane reason no matter how happy u think u r. but u must fight the urge bkuz the grass is not always greener…

  12. MizzMarie729 says:

    @Marriagecoach1
    That is BS, I am sorry to say it but not true. My boyfriend of three years and a daughter, cheated on me. We are intimate at least once a day more often more then that. I just happened to be out of town, not because I deprived him. He just has issues, if you cant keep it in ur pants when with someone then don’t be in a relationship.

  13. MizzMarie729 says:

    @Marriagecoach1
    That is BS, I am sorry to say it but not true. My boyfriend of three years and a daughter, cheated on me. We are intimate at least once a day more often more then that. I just happened to be out of town, not because I deprived him. He just has issues, if you cant keep it in ur pants when with someone then don't be in a relationship.

  14. Dissapointedhubby says:

    I agree with MarriageCoach in saying respect is man’s or husband’s number one need in a marriage relationship. Wife should not disrespect his husband by intentionally withholding hihs physical and emotional needs. Part of it is the sexual gratification of a husband. Many times, wives are using sex as “business capital” so they can get power and control with their husband. Few among women now are willing to commit themselves to obey what the Bible is saying about her role in marriage, that’s it: Wife should completely submit and respect the God given authority of his husband to govern marriage life. When someone get into marriage he/she also vowed to life-time commitment that he/she will surrender her life, body and soul to his/her partner. It means you will completely allowing your partner to take you as his/her precious God-given possession.

  15. wish01 says:

    If its hard for a man to stay faithful because they need to “spread their seed” then JUST DON”T GET MARRIED. Simple as that. Sleep around and remain a bitter old man with intimacy issues. At least the only one you’ll ever truly hurt is yourself.

  16. jdb124 says:

    Let’s put all the love to the side folks.
    What about just cheating cause of variety? No excuses, no logical explanations. JUST VARIETY! Men like to have all different kind of woman. Big breasted, small breasted, big butt, small butt, tall, short etc.. Why do you think they enjoy porn so much more than woman? You guessed it, variety.Sometimes a latin girl or an asian girl or a white girl or a black girl. Whether you want to believe it or not, variety is the most logical answer.

  17. flip1409 says:

    This is all crap, men cheat because we love sex, we want it younger, better looking, and horny all the time. If you want to know why John Edwards cheated take a good look at that dried up old fossil he was married to!

  18. ryan says:

    I’ll go with flip1409′s opinion. Men normally get attracted to “pretty” women. It’s all about attraction and lust.

  19. Yungdre77 says:

    I had to create an account for this topic. I am a married man and I have not cheated in 6 years but I will say it has not been easy. There are a shortage of men out there especially straight men. I think every women wants a good man. Some women will go after a man who has himself together no matter if he is single or in a relationship. What makes it hard is ladies you have real swag, you are a thing of beauty. That makes it very hard but if something isn’t right in a mans relationship then he might roam. I will say as a man it’s very hard to walk away from a intelligent, attractive, lady who has interest in you. It can be done, but its extremely difficult.

  20. Yungdre77 says:

    Flip1409 your comment is also accurate but hilarious. Wish01 your also right, however if thats how someone chooses to live what makes you think they are going to become a bitter old man from being alone? They can be bitter from being married? Thats called being different.

  21. Ren says:

    Ok, I’m a guy who has cheated on many a girlfriend and my wife. I am not proud of either of these things. I cheated at first because I didn’t have the mental fortitude to not do it. Later it became a power play. Wife doesn’t want to have sex? I’ll show her type of thing. It is horrid. Men need to have self control.

    I have found what I need to keep from cheating. And as for the respect thing that men need. I have to agree and add more to it. I have given my wife the respect she deserves and the love she longs for. I have received the respect I want now because of it.

  22. ZorsGurl says:

    I disagree with Marragecoach1 its not all about the sex in a marrage if thats the main thing holding your marrage together than theres a problem. I have to go a year without sex because my husbands a soldier that doesnt give me the excuse to cheet or does it give it to him. Sex should not be blamed for why men or women cheet. Its lots of things like the lack of communication. If the man feels the need to sleep with another women because he feels like hes not getting enough from his other than he needs to talk to her not be like cool now i get to sleep with other women and vis versa. Men and women are guilty of cheeting but there are to many reasons for why. But you cannot just place it on the lack of flame or sex because then comes in the lack of communication. If me or my spouse feel it dieing down we talk about things or do cute or different things to spice up our relationship. Its about working as 1. Marrage and a relationship rely on so many things you cannot just blame one thing.

  23. bootiful says:

    My boyfriend cheated on me with a jump off chick. He was previously dealing with her when he met me. He obviously used me as a rebound because he continued to sex her. Now the baby she just had is probably his. Personally I agree with MizzMarie729 there was no reason for this to happen. I was intimate with him everything day. I went out of town for a week also when he had his “field day”. He couldn’t keep it in his pants either. I think men like this should not be in a serious relationship with no one. Men like this take advantage of the shortage of good men in the world. They will shit on a good woman and think about it later when it’s too late.

  24. AZ85283 says:

    Men cheat because they’re too much of a coward to face their problems. Men have used that biology excuse so long it’s tired. Besides are you implying men are low life animals that can’t control themselves? Then do you suggest uncontrollable men be locked up?

    Simply, men cheat because they can–there are so many women disparate for a man they are willing to take anything whether married or not. Then they make themselves believe that the “man loves me” or believe all the BS about his “awful marriage” rather than face the truth that they are being used. Women are willing to give up their self esteem and self respect just to have a man–any man. Plus–we all know that thousands of men are in prison, dead from wars, disabled, whatever, which means the ratio of men to women is off. With the disproportionate numbers, men benefit by being able to have multiple, willing women. Look at all the women TW had who believed he loved them just because he wanted to screw them. How silly, yet each one believed they were the one who would make him leave his marriage for them. Now what–they look stupid and gullible–but they were willing for the temporary belief that they would finally get the good life. And in any cheating relationship the same dynamics happen–men lye, willing gullible women. With women willing to put themselves out there to attract a man with things like booty.com and “friends with benefits” (for him at least),walking around with their breast hanging, and butt showing trying to attract anything with a penis, women are getting more disparate by the hour. Men know it and are taking advantage of it. Men who cheat don’t want to use any effort to work on their marriage because it’s easy to find a women who will stroke their egos.

    Some said that men don’t get enough sex–well frankly I think if men were better lovers MAYBE their wives would want to make love more often. MAYBE if men helped more at home then their wives wouldn’t be so tired and more willing to have sex. Maybe sex with them is so ho hum that it becomes a waste of time and women would rather sleep then have sex. Most men make sure they get their needs met but how often do they really make sure they’re wives’ needs are met? Most men–”was it OK”? and most wives respond–”ya” knowing full well it was a waste of time. Then when you gently suggest things to do that would make sex more enjoyable they don’t care. Men never seemed to get the concept of foreplay anyway. And since most women have to work, take care of the house and their kids, they’re just too tired. Most men work but only do a few things around the house and “pitch” in with the kids–like they’re doing their wives a favor–raising their offspring. Most men couldn’t run their homes if their life depended on it and when they have to, what do men do? Run out and find another women to help him–”oh I need companionship–no he needs a maid.” It’s no wonder men remarry or jump into another relationship 1-3 yrs after death and divorce–they need to replace the maid they lost. Find man who is really a great lover and you’ll find wife making time for sex.

    Really though men and sex can be described like the game of baseball. You have men who talk a good game but when they get up to bat they strike out (or bunt) and can’t get to first base, but if you listened to them, they’re hitting home runs. Some men can get to first or second base but never can score a run and then there are those that always hit doubles or triples and consistently bring it home and finally there are the home run hitters who always knock it out of the park. Unfortunately lots of men are in the first group–talk a good line but never get to first base, but then wonder why their wives don’t want more sex. So if your woman doesn’t want sex with you–you need to find out why. Maybe you just talk a good line but don’t produce.

  25. arroshot says:

    There are MANY reasons why women and men cheat. One example is in “the End of the Affair”. Sarah cheated because her marriage was not close to what she expected but respected her husband (Henry) enough not to embarass him with a divorce. And, yes, you can cheat without getting caought.

  26. jboogiegirl says:

    I Like what he said “the man who cheats is the man who is constantly disappointed by his expectations” I think that comment there perfectly sums it up. And I also believe the same phrase can apply to women>

  27. Anon84 says:

    @Athirson, you do kind of have a point. Of course humans are humans and have civilized society and what not because we have gained access to our mind, and have moved beyond just our automatic brain. Our automatic brain says reproduce. Our mind says “I’m in love.” It’s been obviously scientifically proven that we stand apart from other mammals due to the size of our brain and the access we have to other parts of our mind and so your argument is really pretty weak. Plus, if you did want to make it about science and biology, in lion prides male lions will often kill the pre-existing offspring of the females in prides that they overtake so that they can mate with them themselves without the competition. For many females it takes this for them to begin to ovulate again to even be fertile for the males because they recognize they need to make up for the loss of offspring. Obviously a bit different than the way humans operate, but there is still an underlying similarity if you want to make this primitive. Women want men they know will stick around and protect them and fight for them and their babies. You cheat you welcome STDs, financial cheating should it be an affair, love children, Fatal Attraction style women… not very safe. So it is in our nature not to be okay with men just wanting to go out and spread their seed. If you’re not in love then I guess you wouldn’t care if your woman left out of self preservation or not. Of course, if you are in love you learn to be monogamous. And I agree with @marriagecoach1 as well having made that point. If men have made the sacrifice for the woman they love to be monogamous for her safety and security, women should make the sacrifice for their men and feed their sexual appetite, etc.
    Another point too. Many people just aren’t in love. Society has told us that we all will be one day and a lot of people believe that they are when they aren’t, or try to convince themselves they are when they aren’t, and this is a large problem too. When love is real both men and women don’t want to do anything to mess it up. Love is more than biology, its a vibration, a wavelength, something we’re only beginning to explore. All we really understand at this point are our biological Reactions to it. Of course, this article brings up a good point too – its hard to love someone else when we dont love ourselves.

  28. AlisaChan says:

    Bull$hit! you’re not describing “every” man – just narcissistic, immature men. A “real” man is someone who knows how to behave with maturity and integrity. When they’re not “happy” they talk about it with their partner and try to work things out. They don’t fall into bed with the nearest whore. Your dad was an asshole and so is every “man” like him.

  29. Zephyr says:

    Men and women cheat for a variety of reasons, I think it’s crazy to try and boil it down to a simple problem. It can be anything, from “I just like sex” to “my partner doesn’t respect or appreciate me.” Fact is, we’re human, not animals. We have the amazing gifts of intellect, reason, and emotion. Some people are going to cheat. It’s not just men by the way. I just don’t like that the whole generalization of a gender thing?

  30. lmj says:

    holy smokes, why does there have to be some deep hidden meaning in everything? maybe some people (guys and/or girls) JUST LIKE SEX. maybe its just physical gratification and nothing more. our society as a whole is way to uptight about sex/nudity/sensuality. the best part, is that all of the conservatives of this country that our out to protect their precious childer dont realize that thier kids are doing coke/weed/ecstasy and humping like rabbits. if parents had any idea of what the 14-23 year old generation of this country was up to they would croke. they are making the hippies look like clergy folk. but dont worry, its not your kids, just everyone elses.

  31. lmj says:

    @AZ85283……not a fan of men are you? dont lump every man into your life experiences. i know women who are satisfied in the bedroom and still lack sex drive or go looking for thrills elsewhere. decend from your soapbox please.

  32. bizzygurl says:

    With all do respect… I find it kind of hard to believe that people make all of these excuses on why they do things, or the reason they do things have to do with their not knowing who they are or not being happy. I must say if you know deep down inside that you are not content and that situation ever rises…. just say no. Dont people remember they are in a relationship, that in my opinion is just an act of selfishness, and peole need to stop making excuses for the things they do and just say they did it cause they wanted to at that moment and knew they were doing the wrong thing and didnt care in the act that after they were hurting everybody else.

  33. bizzygurl says:

    Oh and if its the whole lack of sex excuse or the nag me too much excuse then get the hell out and leave if youre not happy. if you cant find yourself then look in the mirror. Yeah, oh there you are wake, grow up, and stand up. Speak whats on your mind and get it out there at least if you talk about it and put it out there to your partner, then you cant say you havent brought it to their attention. But…. still no excuse.

  34. powderpuff says:

    Marriage coach is 100% totally right, on this issue. I real relationships, to attraction only lasts until the home, and the children, come. After that, it is just the day-to-day stuff. Sex goes from being a high priority, especailly for women, to a “priority” lower than taking out the garbage. Ofcourse, we all know that, in this disaster, that we call the “new world economy”, that both adults have to work, sometimes two, or three, jobs person, just to meet the bills, on minimum wage pay-checks, and this, ofcourse, leads to marraiges becoming at most friendships. And then there is the dumbest arguement of all. When a wife tells her husband: “We need money, more than you need sex”. Next stop, divorce court, as men go to other women, for their needs, and “jilted” wives end up demanding that judges order husbands to pay as much as 250% of their income, for home, and family, maintenance. No, marriage coach is right. Women neeed to take responsibility for the consequences, when they drive their men away. Just remember: If a man cannot get what he needs at home, he WILL go elsewhere.

  35. ideco says:

    ok im a cheater when i meet my wife i was went someone my wife was younger and she could have a babe so we got together and being together going 20yrs and i still cheat cause i want a babe 1m 43 and no kids yes i could adopt but i want my own kid but i do love my wife i juat want a kid.

  36. james says:

    For men cheating is really about getting more sex outside of your relationship. period. all other reasons are just excuses unless you really leave your relationship for tne new person then thats different. If Jesse James still wants to go back to Sandra then he was really just cheating for fun/sex.

  37. xaiden says:

    Okayy, so this might be a little taboo but what about polygamists?? I personally dont consider it to be cheating as long as all people involved are aware and okayy with it. It seems like a logical way to keep all needs(physical romantic or whatever else) satisfied. I was wondering other peoples(especially married peoples) opinions on this….??

  38. time4newway says:

    Wow, great topic. I too had to join in order to chime in here. It really is quite simple. We men love sex and we do not get enough of it, regardless what any woman thinks.

    But it is not all about sex and is not the sole reason why a man cheats. As spelled out in simple form by author Gary Chapman who wrote “The Five Love Languages”. Each of us, both men and woman have emotional and physical needs. Gary breaks them down into five categories. The prioritization of these needs are what make us each different from one another. Of the five needs only the two at the top of each persons unique list (profile) are the factors that will make or break a relationship. Here they are in a list.

    1) Physical Touch
    2) Words of Affirmation
    3) Quality Time
    4) Services
    5) Gifts

    I wrote them in this order because this is my profile after taking the “Five Love Languages” test. In fact, most men have a similar profile to mine. My wife is actually almost a reverse order of mine. That is where the problems in my marriage rest. By not knowing what your partner needs, you assume that they need what you need. That just makes sense to want to do onto others what you want done onto you. But in a case such as mine it only creates strife and conflict. My wife does not believe in this theory and I see it as she is in denial. Gary teaches that love is not an emotion but a decision. If both people in a relationship understand their partners needs and decide to make an effort to provide them even though it is not their own needs, then each is being fed what they crave and they feel satisfied.

    So, do I cheat? Yes!

    Yup, I got it all! The beautiful wife (yes, she is a great looking Asian woman), A nice house in the burbs with a pool and a big yard for the kids to play. I provide two paid for cars, a trip to Disney each year and a house on the ocean for two or three weeks each summer. I have sex about once per month and at that it is about as exciting as a blowup doll with no effort other than lets get it over with. So why am I still with her? Because she is a good mother and I will never leave my kids. My kids are everything to me. So I feed her (#1 gifts) to satisfy her materialistic needs, I go food shopping and take out the trash everyday and do the dishes at times to perform (#2 services) and take the family for weekend fun times to make sure that we always have some (#3 Quality Time). And all I get is why don’t I have enough money for this (handbag) and for that. Never a word of affirmation. Not ever! And I get 10 minutes of begged for pity sex because that is what a wife is supposed to do.

    Well after 15 years of that. I cheat when ever I want. I flirt with woman. Go on lunch and dinner (Business) dates. And engage in safe sex when the opportunity presents itself.

    I envy those that are in relationships were one feeds the others needs and they are in harmony even though they may be very different. I would never consider divorce while my kids are in school and may well never get a divorce at all. I want my kids to have a single home to gather at on holidays when we are old.

    But until then, I will have to get my needs met elsewhere.

    My 2 cents!

  39. xaiden says:

    @time4newway
    Great responce!! Lots of helpfull info and i love that list….

    It sounds similar but exactly opposite to my situation….Im recently married and Ive never heard that list but i have just always classified it as I work hard, play harder, and love hardest.

    My husband is a stay at home husband(to be honest I love it Id rather pay the bills then do the dishes (: ) but as far as physical needs mine are much greater then his(so while hes happy with once a night or every few nights I am not) and while we love each other we recognize we are very different however he is having trouble with it sometimes and we’ve begun looking for other solutions and the most probable one so far is polygamy.

    However, Im open to many other suggestions….

  40. time4newway says:

    @xaiden

    Once a night! Sounds like you should have a few house husbands. LOL

    What does your husband think about you having a physical relationship with another man?

    I do not buy into the polygamy thing. Jealousy and juggling feelings etc. I have enough to deal with trying to manage employees. Let alone one wife. One complicated relationship is enough.

    In my case, My wife would say great! That would relieve her of what she sees as duty. But I will never enter into that option as that leaves the door open for legal crap if it ever went there. I am discreet and that is the best for my kids. “Out of sight out of mind”. I had one woman that seemed to want a bit more, I had to decline and end the physical part. We are still friends though. I dig relationships, not all need to be physical. While, Some need to only be physical. Strange creatures we are!

  41. justonevoice says:

    I must strongly agree with Bizzygurl, marriagecoach, and Athirson. As a male, I have been cursed since the age of 13 with puberty. The desire for the opposite sex is amazingly strong. It has made me do radical things good and stupid. I have cheated before. I was not raised that way and it brought much guilt. However, I did not stop. I believe males are genetically designed as alpha males. However we have intelligence to should try to control it, weigh the consequences of our actions and try to keep promises we make. Relationships begin with attraction (mainly lust) a very powerfull emotion very often confused with love. However when combined are unstopable. lust will fade and love must take its place. But even with this love as men our genetic code will still demand its desire. Most relationships that last only last because the environment in which they exist helps to nurish them. The Army currently has a divorce rate of 75%. This still doesnt add those who are struggling and willing to see past infedelity. This shows that when seriouly stressed most will fail. Others survive off fear. One is affraid to leave the other for whatever reason. We cheat because we do not understand ourselves. We believe we can be true no matter what, but truthfully very few our that strong and will give into thier biological and psycological needs that are not being met. Those who dont have a rare strength or less drive. So what is the key? For me it is being honest and open. Beginning with yourself. Everyone has a suvival factor. A breaking point to where reason will give way to human needs. This point is different for everyone and most do not know where theirs is. Knowing yourself will let you be honest with others around you. Being honest with those you are in a relationship with will keep you from hurting them, and keep you from having to hide and lie about things. These lessons I have learned the hardway and regrets have been made.I have learned that it is just best to be upfront, and to understand your spouses needs and to make a strong effort to put thiers above your own. If both parties do this then the environment is one that will keep the relationship out of the survival mode and into a growing one.

  42. morgan says:

    I can see where everyone is coming from. I applaud the authors attempt to at least recognize, investigate and try and make sense of cheating. The overall piece was great (I thought) and described a reason that a lot of men cheat.
    Here is the thing, its not just men. Most of the articles you read are about MEN cheating, when women cheat just as often. It’s true. Women may not get caught as often, but they do cheat as well.
    The whole biology thing, I believe that. I firsthand as a women experience that biological pull myself. I have been in a commited relationship for six years and when a hot guy asks me out, it’s tough to say no. But I say it. So yes biology has a huge pull, but it does not numb your brain in the process. Especially when the answer is simple = If I cheat, I will damage my relationship. If you really care about this person, thats a big deal. So my stance is that people cheat because they take their relationship for granted. They all know what will happen if the do it, but they still take the plunge. They take their partners love for granted and assume they can “work things out” later, that is if they get caught.

  43. Vincentpetrocelli says:

    Men cheat because they are hunters. It isn’t about catching a woman for sex, it’s about the hunt. It’s about rebuilding his self confidence that he can do it. It’s all about having too much time that isn’t being monitored or looked after by his mate. It’s about many nights they went to bed and both laid there waiting for the other to instigate sex. It’s about the hunt. It’s about coming into the bathroom when he is shaving and using the toilet…don’t do that!! It’s about not being the “seductress” you were when you were dating. Now….he is on the hunt and he is serious about finding someone.

  44. ZorsGurl says:

    Okay i think everyone has a point here but when you try and point the cheeting issue at just sex its a little crazy. Sex isnt a need in life its a want. As much as i love sex I dont need it. People can say oh once you have kids the sex life stops please You have time when they nap when they go to bed and when there playing when you shower to make love to your partner. The excuse of working to much yeah your tired but who doesnt want to come home from a long day at work and make love to their partner? Instead of cheating if your not getting any 7 days a week why dont you pull up the porn. Make some home made porn with your spouse or partner keep it for when your urges get to be to much and have fun by yourself. Cheating is because the man or women wants to not because its in the guys genes or because he is super horny. Its simply because he wants too. There isnt a excuse for why anyone cheats. There are so many good men in this world lets not give a excuse to the men who just want to sleep with anybody who has a nice body or a nice set of tits. I think we all just need to blame the person who cheats not their partner/spouse for not giving it up enough.

  45. Servicewithasmile says:

    You are sadly misinformed about biology. A species doesn’t have to be on the verge of extinction to have the biological urge to spread their genes. As you your other statement about ensuring the survival, there are very few males of any species who ensure the survival of their offspring. The females are the ones who tend to the young. Next time you try to discredit biology, please make sure you know your facts. Otherwise you just sound ignorant.

  46. Servicewithasmile says:

    @lpfns ^^

  47. chobbes says:

    Honesty is good, but that doesn’t guarantee accuracy. You give up control in life no matter what you choose or choose not to do. the important thing is that you have to be prepared for the consequences and be sure that you’ll be satisfied with the outcome. So, for instance, if you get married and have a quiet, but unglamorous life, that has to be what you want. Don’t say that now you’re responsible and you have to have some order and predictability, you’ve given up control of your life. WTF! With everything in life, you gain something and you also lose something. Be prepared for the trade-off or don’t do it. If you want to be married & monogamous, do that. If you want to be married & still fuck around, go ahead and be prepared for the consequences. I’ve done both and been satisfied, with the exception of a few times that I didn’t fuck around when I really should have. So, now I have no problem going for it, if I so choose. Again, whatever you do, make sure it’s what you really want. No one is forced to get married of to have multiple partners. Do it without regrets or don’t do it at all.

  48. lesliesm22 says:

    To use the excuse that they cheat because it’s biological is to say that we are no more then brainless animals that have no control over our lives.

    There is a big difference between us and the monkeys that throw their feces at each other..at least for people that aren’t members of a Jerry Springer audience.

    I’ve looked at other mes..Hell I’ve looked at other women and wondered “hummmm, wonder how’d it be” But I have self control as a human being..that and I’m carrying a little extra weight and most likely couldn’t have scored on a good day!

  49. carbonware says:

    I once lived in a small country that had common laws and few marriages, men (or women) could have as many relationships as they wanted, but if the had children they were required to support them.

    Nudity and spontaneous sex was a regular thing and not much was thought of it.

    I had met a fisherman, Mr. Trumpet who asked me to come to his birthday party and that his 5 wives and 18 children would all be there. We expected fights and tension.

    Instead we found the women each lived near each other and were good friends, the kids all grew up like neighbors, and were equally provided for. Mr Trumpet saw no reason to cheat as he spent a few nights at each house and then took one day a week off for himself!

    There were not really any contracts, people lived off the land, built their own homes and the tropical nature of the area made fruits and vegetables growing freely so income was based more on much lower needs.

    I’ve never been around a happier people in my life. But also highly superstitious, poorly educated, yet seemingly more satisfied with life than we Americans.

  50. Lady4GreatStyles says:

    ai am so tired of people saying men cheat because they are not getting their {sex} needs met. My ex chose not to be romantic with me. My needs were not being met, but he was the cheater. Yes, he’s long gone, I’m single again and still an involuntary celibate. If that does not stink or is not totally unfair, nothing is….So don’t blame the wife, it is not always the case….

  51. cindychampion12 says:

    Always love hearing from a man’s point of view… I think one of the biggest reasons anyone cheats is that they feel underappreciated.

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