A Mother’s Take on the Movie ‘Motherhood’

A mom weighs in on the new Uma Thurman film, and checks in with the movie’s director Katherine Dieckmann.

-April Daniels Hussar

Motherhood, a film about – yep – motherhood, opens today, Friday, and – despite the fact that it stars the un-disguisably glamorous Uma Thurman, it’s an imminently relatable film. Written and directed by Katherine Dieckmann, the movie starts with a close-up of an all-too recognizable to-do list. From there it proceeds to chronicle a day in the life of one Eliza Welsh as she navigates the choppy waters of motherhood and undertakes the tasks not just of prepping for and throwing her daughter’s 6th birthday party (in her apartment), but attempting to find and foster her lost and buried self within.

It may seem, to today’s blog and Twitter jaded woman, that plenty (more than enough) is said, on a day by day – make that minute by minute – basis about being a modern mom. But really, when’s the last time you saw a mother on screen that you could truly understand and relate to?

Yeah – not so much.

We might not all be able to relate to the hip urban-mommy trials and tribulations of off-side parking, and surely only a handful of us look as freaking cute schlepping around the house as Uma Thurman’s mommy blogger does in her boho-dress and lipstick (my husband should be so lucky). And no – this isn’t a movie about a poor single mother struggling to make rent and feed her kids, or a homeless family, or any of the myriad real life situations that are not reflected in the film. It’s not trying to be that kind of movie. But we can ALL recognize the stress and humor of prepping for a birthday party at home, of fencing with the neighborhood Perfect Mother, of navigating the playground shoals where Defensive Moms lurk with their bully kids, and, ultimately, of trying to reconnect with our missing former selves.

Because that is what is at the heart of this movie, what it captures so beautifully: The reckoning of Eliza the Mom with Eliza the writer who loves indie punk music and can still catch the eye of a hottie delivery guy / poetical playwright (played to perfection by the dreamy Arjun Gupta). How many of us have looked in the mirror and wondered where did that person go? And how many of us have entertained the fantasy, however fleeting, of getting in that station wagon and driving away – away from restraints and constrictions and the millions of soul-wearying daily tasks?

This push-pull is expressed in Motherhood as a constant, underlying awareness of the fleeting, fragile nature of life’s perfect moments. Our little girl waking up on her last day of being 5 years old; our son waving sweetly to us from across the room, a wooden block in his perfect, chubby hand … The movie captures the frustration mothers feel that we’re not always – or even often – able to appreciate those moments fully, and the guilt we constantly feel that we’re wishing them away or wasting them by having one eye on our laptops, or our messes, or our to-do lists. We take for granted that we can have it all – and we’re frustrated when we find that isn’t true. Does something always have to give? Is it unavoidable that we have to sacrifice something, some part of our selves?