8 Warning Signs He’s Breaking Up With You
How to tell if your guy’s about to bail.
Nobody likes to be on the wrong end of the “it’s-not-you-it’s-me” call. That’s one conversation we’d all prefer went straight to voicemail.
Let’s face it – breaking up almost always sucks. But when you’re the one who failed to see the Big Dump coming, you face an entirely new level of suck. Epic suck. Monumental suck. Can’t-go-to-work-because-my-eyes-are-swollen-from-all-this-crying-and-no-one-will-ever-love-me suck.
So how can you tell when a guy (with whom you’ve been sharing a life, a loofah or a last name) is about to call the whole thing off? We asked real men to divulge their breakup trade secrets. Here are eight warning signs men display just before saying So long, sweetheart.
1. The Slow Fade
The slow fade is a term coined by one of my guy friends, Will*, to describe his classic exit strategy from a relationship.
“The slow fade is when I subtly reduce frequency of contact with a chick,” he says. “I guess I hope maybe she won’t notice I’m not calling or texting as much. It’s a good preamble to the actual breakup, because either she forgets about me or she gets pissed at me. Either way, the breakup moves along quite nicely.”
2. His Alibi
Guys often combine the Slow Fade with another passive-aggressive breakup technique: the Unnecessarily Complicated Alibi.
“If I don’t want to hang out with a girl anymore, I start listing all these elaborate, detailed reasons why I’m busy for the next two weeks and can’t see her,” explains Will. “I cover all my bases. Next Tuesday at 4:05 p.m.? Sorry, I have an appointment with my podiatrist. Friday night at 8 o’clock? I have to write a thank you note to my grandma.”
This is a tricky one, ladies, because guys are often legitimately busy (just like you). The critical distinguisher between “busy but into you” and “busy and over you” is his offer to reschedule. If he makes a reschedule offer for a specific date and time, no need to jump the breakup gun. But if there’s no makeup date in sight – it may be sayonara, sugar.