When it comes to sex, we let ourselves believe all sorts of things (“It’s not like he’s a stranger, we don’t need a condom.” “You’re right, honey, you do have the biggest dick in the country.”) But many of our assumptions turn out to be completely false. Here are the 8 biggest sex myths – debunked:

1. You should get off every time. Sure orgasms are great. But it’s OK not to have one every time, and it doesn’t mean you’re having bad sex. New York-based sex therapist Dr. Joy Davidson, author of the book Fearless Sex, believes sex that’s focused around orgasms is “goal-oriented sex, not mindful sex. When the sole focus is getting off,” she says, “it’s basically focusing on getting it over with.” It’s not about the destination, ladies, it’s about the journey. As long as sex is pleasurable, it’s OK if he doesn’t see your O face every time.

Read In Search of the Big “O”

2. We’re sleeping together; he shouldn’t be jerking off to porn. Masturbation is part of a healthy sex life, even a sex life that’s seeing lots of action. It’s important to understand that a guy often needs a visual element to help him, which means porn may be part of his life too, even if he’s completely into you. “Masturbation is about zoning out, self-soothing or relaxing before going to bed,” says Dr. Davidson. “When he watches porn, it’s not about love, and it’s not even about being attracted to someone else.” Watching sex is a turn-on that allows him to get the job done quicker. Just because he watches porn doesn’t mean he likes the idea of having sex with other women or that he isn’t satisfied with you.

3. I won’t get an STD if I have sex with someone I know. The logic works so well at the time: “I know him. He’s cute. I like him. There’s no way he has an STD.” But consider the fact that more than half of all people contract an STD in their lifetime – and those people aren’t hiding away from the rest of society. The truth is, the kind of people who have STDs are the kind of people who know other people… possibly even you. Guys (and girls) of all types, races and income brackets can have an STD. Just because you know him doesn’t make it safe to have sex without a condom.