6 Rules for Dating in the 21st Century

Stick to these 6 rules for dating in the 21st century in order to not blow your next big date.

Relationships

6 Rules for Dating in the 21st Century

How not to blow your next big date

-Kelly Sinclair

a happy coupleThe dating world has always been rough, but these days it seems like the tried-and-true rules have become, shall we say, murky. Back in the free-wheeling days of the ‘60s and ‘70s, dating multiple partners at once was the norm, and getting past the third date was something of an accomplishment. From going dutch to making the first move, here are six dating rules for the 21st century, explained.

1. Splitting the bill

No one likes that awkward moment when the bill arrives, and there’s an understandable amount of confusion about who pays on a first date. Traditionally, the guy pays, but more often than not, today’s couples are splitting the tab. No matter what school of thought you adhere to, just remember that paying for a meal does not automatically mean a guy is dating-material. We’ve all been out with plenty of men who’ve picked up the check and who have also turned out to be creeps. Instead, use the cues from the date itself to gauge a potential match. That said, it is polite and sure to score points if the guy at least offers to pay.

2. Chill out

Dating is essentially about finding a long-term partner, but it’s also about having a good time. Getting too serious, too fast is a sure-fire way to kill any chemistry you may have with a guy. You do not need to call him every five minutes to see what he’s up to, nor do you need to spend every waking minute together. No matter how much you may want to pick up that phone, please, please, put it down. It’ll set off all sorts of warning bells, and besides, you have a life, too.

3. The rules of the game

On the other hand, there is such a thing as playing it too cool.
Everyone enjoys a good chase now and then, but don’t get so caught up in the game that you lose sight of what dating is all about: Getting to know each other and enjoying each other’s company. Playing games with a guy is counterproductive and can lead to misunderstandings. Wondering why he doesn’t call anymore? Maybe you played hard-to-get just a little too well.

4. Making the first move

This one might go without saying, but girls, it is perfectly acceptable to ask a guy out. Even though it’s fairly commonplace, some women (and men) still have a problem with it. If there’s someone you want to ask out, don’t be shy about it. And if a man is intimidated by it, he might not be someone you want to date anyway.

5. Leave your ex out of the conversation

It just looks like you’re trying to make him jealous or that you’re still hung up on the old guy. If you can’t seem to stop talking about mister-yesterday’s-news, it may be time to take a break from dating. There’s certainly a time when you’ll both need to dish your dating history, but definitely not when you’re just starting a new relationship.

6. Being single is not a bad thing

No, being single does not make you a social pariah. It’s healthy to have some time to yourself and to focus on your goals. Dating can be great, but ultimately you’re not going to be a good match for someone (and vice versa) until you’re sure of yourself. And there’s nothing sexier than confidence.

Kelly Sinclair is a freelance writer. Having just returned from living the UK, she’s happy to be back in the land of cold beer and reruns.

Read more about love and dating: Why Dating Bigger Men is Better and How a Bikini Wax Saved My Sex Life


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0 thoughts on “6 Rules for Dating in the 21st Century

  1. hipstergal23 says:

    I’m going to show this to all of my friends, thanks for the tips

  2. Strong and Quirky says:

    I need to print and post this article near my mirror. It will constantly remind me of the rules for dating in the 21st century

  3. Delilah says:

    I’m a traditionalist. I want the guy to make the first moves.

  4. cloo says:

    I’ve always been a traditionalist, but these are good tips! I should try them out, takes a lot of guts though.

  5. bellavita says:

    I love these tips! I always offer to split the bill but (especially on first dates) guys won’t hear anything about it. It sometimes seems to offend a little bit like “I’m a man, obviously I would pay!” So now I just do a casual “how much do i owe” so they can just as casually be like “No, no I got it!” But if they ever were like “umm…17.33″ I wouldn’t be mad!

  6. Skyler24 says:

    awesome article…hooray to the last tip. Beyonce says it best..All you single ladies..put your hands up

  7. blondeambition says:

    I totally agree with the last one too! I enjoy being single…and I totally believe it is when you’re not looking (and enjoying your life) that you find someone great!

  8. shyguy-sdwyz8 says:

    Um i agree with everything but the “splitting the bill” thing kinda took me for a loop, i guess im old-fashioned but i feel like i need to pay (on most occasions), ESPECIALLY on first dates.

  9. NaptownCutie says:

    I don’t mind splitting the bill, but I’ll go one even further, I’ll even pay the tab. Especially, if I invite him out. I like being the one to make the first move because most of the time, the guys that ask me out don’t give me that initial spark that the ones I ask out do. I also don’t like to do a lot of talking on the telephone or being up under each other 24/7. I need my space just like he does. I limit my telephone conversations even if I want to talk longer because I don’t want to seem like I have anything else to do because I actually do.

  10. revdisastro says:

    My comments and thoughts with regards to your article are too sprawling and wild-tongued to fit into the small walls of a comment box, but if anyone is so inclined they may view them in full here: http://revdisastro.tumblr.com/post/36646250043/in-response-6-rules-for-dating-in-the-21st-century

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