In Her Words

I Have No Desire for Sex While Pregnant

What happens when you don't want it?

-Amanda Espinoza

Trying to get pregnant is so much fun, then you see the two blue lines and something changes. The months of fun are over, and the vomiting begins. For some, getting pregnant takes the pressure off, and they are able to have more fun in the sack afterward. For others, that drive is simply gone. Feeling nauseated all day and having a heightened sense of smell doesn 't help matters.

The first trimester passes, and you are feeling better, but now you are fat. At least, you feel fat, but your preggy belly only turns him on more.

Then you are told not to lie flat on your back, because you may cut off necessary oxygen to the baby. So you get creative, but that means you have to do some of the work ... and you are tired. And you still aren't into it. For some reason, your brain has turned off that desire, and your main focus is getting through the pregnancy. But you desire to please your husband and to keep him happy, because a physically happy husband makes a very happy husband in every other area of life. (You may not agree with this statement, but I wholeheartedly believe it.)

So what do you do when you don't want it or you can't do it because of a high-risk pregnancy? There are other ways to show physical affection, with hugs and kisses, or by spending relaxing "alone time" together. Communicate to him that you want to want it and that your desire will return. I clearly remember when my desire came back, about three months after Annabelle was born. I was ecstatic. I had no idea when my desire for it would return. I was worried that it may not for a long time.

After morning sickness, loss of desire is the worst by-product of pregnancy. The first time my husband and I went through this, he began to resent me, and he was constantly in a rare foul mood. Then one day he figured it out. He wasn't feeling any love because I would push him away when he came near me, and that was because I was sick. After he communicated to me how he felt, I made a point to pay more physical attention to him. Things got a lot better. This second time around, we were prepared. My husband knew what to expect, and I try to focus on him a little more. It is really easy to get wrapped up in yourself when you are pregnant.

So, am I the only one who has felt this way? Did you go to one extreme after you found out that you were pregnant?