Just Another Manic Mommy

Dear Manic Mommy: My teenage son recently got his girlfriend pregnant. They were very upfront with telling us about it, but of course my husband and I can't help but be angry and upset with them both for letting this happen. We have had many conversations with them about how to prevent this. However, as angry as we are, we want to be able to help them emotionally and in every way that we can. Can you give us any pointers?

Manic Mommy: First, wow, I think you and your husband are amazing for being so strong and supportive during this obviously difficult time in your lives. And also, I think it's very mature of your son and his girlfriend to be upfront with you. It sounds as if everyone is ready to do what's best and right for this baby, which is terrific.

As for some pointers for you all, I think it's important to make sure they both are able to complete high school. And that they both take responsibility for their baby. I can see how in situations like this, if there is ever a break-up, the mother might take on more of the responsibilities. (A book that comes to mind is Slam by Nick Hornsby; It's fiction, but tells the story of a young skateboarder who gets his high school girlfriend pregnant.)

I also think, and as sad as this might be, that your son and his girlfriend have forfeited some of their own opportunities, and they need to be prepared for that and reminded of that. They will now soon be parents. And as we parents know, we never come first anymore. Good luck. I wish you all the best, and no matter what happens, please keep in mind there is no miracle more amazing than the miracle of a baby - and this one will be YOUR grandbaby!