Woman to Women

Hard for Me to Say I'm Sorry

Why the Me Generation Can't Say Those Two Little Words

-Jennifer Lubell

Recently, I sought an apology from one of my best friends. She had been less than sympathetic about a problem I was having at work, and I sent her an e-mail message, telling her that her response had really upset me.

Now, if I had gotten an e-mail like that from her (and, believe me, I have in the past), I guarantee you that my face would have turned red with embarrassment and shame, and I would have promptly written back, expressing profuse apologies over hurting her feelings.

As a person who's painfully aware of my own shortcomings, I usually don't hesitate to make amends whenever I bite into the bitter taste of shoe leather.

Apparently, my friend and I aren't on the same page about this.

Instead of an apology, I got a long, rambling, furious message claiming that I had hurt HER feelings by criticizing her advice, that I was being too hard on her and that she shouldn't have to watch everything she says around me. This was followed by a load of psychobabble about her struggles with codependency issues and some other stuff I didn't even understand. read more...