Just Another Manic Mommy

Play Date, Schmay Date

Dear Manic Mommy: Question: At what age do you think it's OK for children to have play dates on their own - meaning you just drop them off at someone's house? Am I going to sound paranoid and crazy if I ask every mother if they have guns in the house and a host of other questions?

Manic Mommy: I haven't gotten any Manic Mommy hate mail yet, but I fear this one might spark some. I might just be the meanest mom in the world when it comes to play dates at other kids' homes. Here's the deal: If I know the parents well, if they are neighbors or very good friends, I am all for the play date. Take my kids for eight hours. Take them overnight! Take them camping for a week!

If I have never heard of the kid, have no idea what the parents do for a living, what kind of liquor they keep in their liquor cabinets, or how many firearms they've got loaded in their home, well then, nah, my kid doesn't need to play with your kid.

Of course, though, if my kid is invited to a new friend's home, and I'm not sure about it, I will definitely have that child to my house first. Or suggest we all go somewhere locally together so I can scope out the situation to make sure this is the kind of kid I want my child hanging with.

So, my answer to you, my dear, is NO, YOU ARE NOT PARANOID! Unless, of course, your kid is 26 and still living at home, but then we've got other issues to deal with!

There are enough children for my kids to play with (including their own siblings) in our own neighborhood, and enough families that I know and trust and love, that they don't need any more friends. (And I sure as heck am not making any right now, am I?) My kids are 10, nine and seven, and to me, that's still too young to be at a strange home where they are not comfortable with the adults; where they are not familiar with the rules or the dangers in the home or the area. I don't allow my kids to walk to the park in our own neighborhood; how can I be sure another parent would feel the same way? Too risky. They're my kids. I adore them. I don't want anything to happen to them. Call me paranoid. Call me a mean mom. Just don't call me for a play date unless we know each other!