Just Another Manic Mommy

Help - I need a little respect from my daughter

Dear Manic Mommy: Help! I have a preschool aged child and my husband and I are currently living in separate states but we are still together. He is living out of state due to some temporary work he needs to take care of. Raising my child alone while working full time is killing me. She has begun to bad mouth me and even told me that she hates me. She often cries and says she wants her father and I try to take her to him on the weekends when I can, but the gas has been a murder lately. Anyhow, my husband asked if he can take her to stay with him so that I can get a bit of a break and when he is done with his work in the state he is in, he and our child will come back to me. He suggested that I continue to work and when I am free on a weekend to come and see her. The reason why I have to stay working in my state is because I am the bread winner. Do you think it is a bad choice for my child to be away from me and with her father for the remainder of the time until my hubby comes back home? I don't want her to feel like I am just leaving her with her dad but I have been stressed and can't take care of anything because I am running around all over the place trying to fix things at home and financially. Please tell me I am not being a bad mom.

Manic Mommy: You are NOT a bad mom. If you were, you wouldn't even be asking this question. So, get rid of that thought right away. You're looking out for your child and your family, and times are tough. And probably your daughter is sensing the stress in your lives and feeding off it. She's confused that her father is not there, and that you're working so hard, and that when you come home from work, you've got other stuff to do. I can totally understand how you feel like falling apart. She doesn't hate you. She probably just can't convey her feelings to you and being mean is the only way she can make sense of things.