Woman to Women
Can't get you Outta my Head
What to do when you have an old flame on the brain
-Jessica Love
They hijack your thoughts after you break up with the most recent fling. During dry spells. When you're gussied up and gorgeous on Saturday nights. You remember their gaze, their kiss; you remember a defining moment or two, and perhaps a few steamy hookups...
You've got Ex on the Brain.
I admit it: I think about exes - often. And more than a couple of them. They tiptoe into my mind when I get lonely, when I drink one too many glasses of wine, when I'm upset about a recent failed relationship attempt. It's the excitement that's the draw - the thought of pulling an ex back into your life for just a moment has a mysterious, forbidden thrill. So what do you do?
Proceed with caution. Exes are dangerous territory, and for two reasons:
1. Their entrance into your fine-without-them life can bring up unsettling emotions, still-healing wounds and memories that are better left beneath the lid of your ex-boyfriend boxes.
2. They can arouse a passion that causes you to act impulsively - and then you're the girl that just had a one-nighter with your ex. More often than not, this leaves a lingering feeling of rejection or regret or just plain ickiness (yes, the afterglow always fades ... at least for a lot of us).
However, there are exceptions, and we've probably all been there. When you think about your ex - after a few solid months have gone by - and still feel you lost a core person from your life. You think about how much was left unsaid between you. You try to rationalize the breakup but feel the lurking feelings are more than just loneliness.
In this case - if you've given the breakup a good go, you've heard from your ex on friendly terms, and you know there's leftover chemistry-you may want to give him a quick call or send him a text message, perhaps even a short e-mail . Why? Because perhaps you ought to say those unsaid words, if only because you need to do so for yourself. And if there are lingering feelings between you and no glaring red flags signaling you to run from him, you could successfully reconcile.
However you choose to cure your case of Ex on the Brain, the most important thing is to carefully contemplate your next move. As for me, I'm going to go erase a couple of numbers from my cell phone.
