Just Another Manic Mommy

Perfect Problem?

Dear Manic Mommy: My son behaves almost perfectly for my husband, but not for me. I am consistent with him, but it doesn't seem to help. Do you have any tips?

Manic Mommy: This is a tough question because it's a little vague. You say you're consistent. And also you say your son behaves "almost perfectly" for your husband. Sounds a lot like how I perceive my family. I feel I am fairly consistent with my kids, yet admittedly I am more of the enabler in the family, so I will threaten and then back down, while my husband says what he means and means what he says. Basically I'm a pushover, a softie, really, really nice. And sometimes I don't like that about my parenting personality. Could this be part of your family's problem?

Do you say something but not stand behind it 100 percent? Or is it just that your son behaves differently for your husband than for you? Another factor is that I don't know your son's age. If he's younger than 4 or 5, I'd say his behavior can be easily adjusted. If he's older, he may already be able to manipulate his way to get what he wants and his behavior is already a habit.

Regardless you and your husband should take a united front and figure out a joint way to consistently discipline and reward. This will help your son to understand what is expected of him and how he needs to behave for both of you.