Just Another Manic Mommy

They're Dissin' my Kids!

Dear Manic Mommy: I have two sons, identical twins who are 6 years old. They have best friends who are girls, but now the girls are starting to ignore my boys and are playing with other girls. My sons do have friends who are boys, but they get very hurt when the girls don't want to play with them. It's hard to explain this to them, and they still ask to play with the girls and still get turned away. I can't stand to see my sons be hurt in any way. They play baseball and some of the boys are a little wild and rough and call one of my sons names. Nothing nasty, but not nice. I feel like moving away! Any advice?

Manic Mommy: First of all, if I moved away every time my kids got dissed by their friends, I would be a nomad, with no place to call home! So please tell me you're not seriously considering moving away just because your sons' playmates would rather play with girls now. It's natural for girls at this age to gravitate to other girls, and truthfully it's even totally normal for them to think boys are yucky or gross, I'm sorry to say.

I'm sure your boys are hurt, and that's hard on any parent, but what you have to do is reach out to other parents who have children who have the same interests as your sons. And find nice kids! They don't have to play with the wild, rough ones! When my kids have a problem with a friend, I let them know there are about 20 kids in our neighborhood and 20 more they know through school and that I'll be happy to set them up with a play date if they're currently having a friendship problem. I don't expect them to pine away or hold out for just one or two friends until those friends decide they want to be nice to my kids. That gets boring and old!

And as for the girls who no longer feel like playing with your sons, check back with me in about another six or seven years. I'll bet you the girls will be hanging out at the end of your driveway, watching your boys shoot hoops without their shirts on. It'll happen. I assure you. And that's when your boys will want nothing to do with the girls. Payback is sweet, isn't it?