Just Another Manic Mommy

My Child is Hyperactive!

Dear Manic Mommy: I have a 4-year-old daughter who is beyond hyper and does not like to sleep or nap. I have talked to her doctors, and they told me it's just a phase and that, once in a while, a little Benadryl will calm her down when she is extremely hyper. I have tried time-outs, sitting her on the naughty step, taking away her toys and anything that has to do with fun, but she's still hyper. She can't sit still for more than a minute. She jumps on my back and plays with everything. I can't even use the restroom without fearing that she'll destroy something or make a phone call. (I am not going to get into her making an international call in an attempt to talk to her cousins in another state.) That one blew my lid. Anyway, can you please suggest what I can do to calm my child down so that I can enjoy being around her? Thanks!

Manic Mommy: I think every child displays some sort of hyperactivity at some point, but what you're describing sounds like it is constant and exhausting! I'm sorry for that. Does your daughter ever slow down? Does she ever do quiet activities? Does she enjoy coloring, watching TV, doing puzzles or playing by herself? If you answer no to all of these questions, then I think that maybe there's more to this.

Could she be vying for your attention? I'm assuming she's an only child. It seems like there might be some other factors missing here. Are there other things causing her to act this way? Do you work outside of the home, and does she have very little time with you? Perhaps when you're together, she just wants to be around you. Or are you home with her all day long and this is just how she acts? These are some of the questions that need to be answered. I would say if you're gone most of the time (at a full-time job while she's in day care, maybe?), and this is how she acts when you are together, then she is just craving your attention.

Aside from the long-distance phone call, what else has she done to warrant the time-outs, the naughty step and other punishments? Are you punishing her just because she is being hyper and cannot sit still? I think you have to take into consideration the reasons that you are punishing her as well.

Look around and try to see things through her eyes. Have things recently changed for her, such as a big move or a new family situation? Is something new happening in your life that might be affecting her in a different way? Something scary in a 4-year-old's life might not seem scary to an adult. I don't know the whole scenario, so it's difficult for me to gauge what's going on, but I wonder if she is just searching for attention.

I hate to say that she will probably outgrow it, because I certainly know that is not what you need to hear. If your doctors are telling you it's just a phase, but you're not buying it, you are her mother, and I am a firm believer in Mother's Instincts so go with your gut judgment and if you feel the need for further treatment, if I were you, I would ask your doctor to recommend a specialist for your daughter. Good luck!