Woman to Women

Just Grow Up!

Are you a woman or a "little girl?"

By: Cheryl M. Wenzel-Nelson, M.A.

On a recent episode of Desperate Housewives, a pregnant Susan dons a sexy nightie, trying to seduce her husband. He rolls over, saying he's not in the mood. Instead of responding "That's okay, another night," Susan starts whining that she feels fat. You just know he wants to bark, "Grow up!" Instead, he reassures her that she is sexy.

Susan, here's a clue. Everything is not about YOU! Grow up!

We see it every day. Remember Paris Hilton crying that she missed her mother when they locked her up for being a bad little big girl? And there was powerhouse attorney Gloria Allred on The Today Show, holding a maternal hand throughout the interview with Jessica Gibson, the nanny who has accused Rob Lowe of molesting her.

Why are some women so immature? Are they afraid of their own power (or lack thereof) in what they perceive to be a patriarchal society that has traditionally treated women like little girls, making their decisions for them and refusing them the same rights as men? Do TV-show writers and producers think we need to keep perpetuating that?

If a woman acts like a grown-up, can she suffer the consequences of not "knowing her place"? Guess so. Senator Hillary R. Clinton knows this all too well. As a grown-up woman, she doesn't ask for approval before making decisions, nor does she expect someone else to make her feel better. And she suffers the consequences with sexist put-downs and criticisms aimed at her womanhood.

Women who never grow up will always be looking to others to define them and will rely on approval from others instead of themselves. Instead, they must learn to trust their own power and blaze their own trails. So, Susan, grow up!

Which are you? A woman or a "little girl?"