Just Another Manic Mommy

Dear Manic Mommy: I'm pregnant with my first baby, and my in-laws want to come and stay with us when the baby arrives. I was hoping for some time to just get adjusted and to learn how to be a mother. What can I do about this?

Manic Mommy: While I can understand your feelings because I've been there, too, you have to get over it. Right now, you're moody, emotional and all wrapped up with what's going on with you. And that's perfectly, totally, absolutely okay! You're entitled to this. It's your pregnancy. It's your baby.

But let me tell you this: How can you deliver such a crushing blow to that sweet new grandma who is going to love your baby practically as much as you do? Because she will. She will love that baby unconditionally and more than a puppy loves its new owner. It's true.

When I had my second child (Diva), and my third (Tukey), we lived out of town, away from all four grandparents. We needed help because we had no family nearby and I had a toddler (Ajers), and what was I supposed to do with a toddler if I were to go into labor in the middle of the night? Drive myself to the hospital while Mr. Manic stayed home with Ajers? (Which might have been a better idea, because when I did go into labor, he wanted to shave and make some coffee before we went to the hospital!)

I think that with a new baby's arrival, you just have to let some things slide in order to make other people feel happy. Because in the long run, that's what it's all about, and little newborn babies make everyone feel happy!

It's a family affair, and yes, you do have the final say on what you do want in your home and what you will allow, but this is your family, your husband's parents, and believe it or not, they loved your husband as much as you love that little baby growing inside of you right this minute. Know how that feels? Know how it would feel to have that love crushed?
Invite them into your home. When you need a break from the craziness of having company, take your baby into your room, close your door, snuggle with your newborn and your husband, and just connect with each other.

And when that baby starts squawking and you've done all you can to calm him, you've fed him, and changed him, and rocked him and tried everything, and you're exhausted and you've cried, and your husband is back at work and you've been up five times since 3 a.m. ... well, take that little bundle of cherubness right over to your doting and loving mother-in-law, plop him into her waiting arms, and drag your tired butt back to your bed, throw your pillows over your head, cover yourself up with your favorite blankets and get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

And don't worry. Your baby will still be there when you wake up. And your mother-in-law? She will have just spent the most joyous couple of hours staring into the eyes of one of the biggest miracles of her life. Your gift to her. Cherish it all!