ASK REAL GUYS

Online Dating Mess

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I just started trying online dating. What a mess. I don't look at the guys who are looking for their soulmate or their first last date. I think that is putting the cart before the horse. But how do you sort out the cads? I always ask if they are married or have any other ties. I started talking with this guy online and became interested in him. Everything seemed to be going well, and then all of a sudden he couldn't meet me and could only talk during certain hours. I would like to sort these guys out before I even start communicating with them. Thanks for any help.

Steven: Online dating is a very tricky thing. Generally speaking, people can hide behind written communication better than behind oral communication. Just remember that research shows that the majority of a meaning of a message gets carried through ways other than words. So no matter how well you or he writes, most of the message is going to be left to each other's interpretation. My advice is to start a phone conversation as soon as it would be appropriate. A really good question to ask a guy is what was the best relationship he ever had, and why? The answer will often reveal the true type of woman he is looking for.